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fraggle
2026-01-25 11:33:37 -04:00
commit 6f42a58ee5
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assets/js/blog-utils.js
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// Load and display all blog posts
async function loadBlogPosts() {
try {
const response = await fetch('blog-posts.json');
const posts = await response.json();
const container = document.getElementById("blogPostsContainer");
// Sort posts by date (newest first)
const sortedPosts = posts.sort((a, b) => new Date(b.date) - new Date(a.date));
sortedPosts.forEach(post => {
const postElement = document.createElement('div');
postElement.className = 'blog-post';
postElement.id = `post-${post.id}`;
// Convert content newlines to paragraphs
const contentParagraphs = post.content.split('\n\n').filter(p => p.trim().length > 0);
const formattedContent = contentParagraphs.map(p => `<p>${p.trim()}</p>`).join('');
postElement.innerHTML = `
<h2 class="blog-post-title">${post.title}</h2>
<p class="blog-post-date">${post.date}</p>
<p class="blog-post-excerpt">${post.excerpt}</p>
<div class="blog-post-content">${formattedContent}</div>
<p class="blog-post-signature">-- Author --</p>
`;
container.appendChild(postElement);
});
// Scroll to post if hash is present
if (window.location.hash) {
setTimeout(() => {
const targetPost = document.querySelector(window.location.hash);
if (targetPost) {
targetPost.scrollIntoView({ behavior: 'smooth', block: 'start' });
}
}, 100);
}
} catch (error) {
console.error('Error loading blog posts:', error);
document.getElementById("blogPostsContainer").innerHTML =
'<p class="error">Error loading blog posts. Please try again later.</p>';
}
}
// Load posts when page loads
window.addEventListener('load', loadBlogPosts);
assets/js/error-messages.js
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// Error messages with time-of-day awareness
// Each error code has multiple witty messages that rotate randomly
function getErrorMessage(errorCode) {
const today = new Date();
// Your timezone, your problem - we just read what your browser tells us
const hours = today.getHours();
const timeContext = hours < 6 ? 'late' : hours < 12 ? 'morning' : hours < 18 ? 'afternoon' : 'evening';
const messages = {
400: [
"Bad Request? More like bad judgment. What were you even thinking?",
"Your browser sent something that made the server question its life choices.",
"Syntax error: human detected. Please reformat your existence.",
"The server tried to parse your request. It failed. Miserably.",
"This isn't a buffet. You can't just order whatever you want.",
"Your request was so malformed, it gave the parser an existential crisis.",
"Bad request? That's putting it mildly. The server is offended.",
"The server politely declined your request. It's not you, it's... actually, it is you."
],
401: [
"Unauthorized. You shall not pass. Unless you have the password.",
"Access denied. This area requires more credentials than a spy movie.",
"You need authentication. This isn't a BYOB party.",
"Unauthorized access attempt. The server is judging you right now.",
"Credentials required. No, 'password123' doesn't count.",
"Authentication failed. Try harder. Or don't. The server doesn't care.",
"Access denied. Even the server has standards.",
"You're not authorized. The bouncer said no."
],
403: [
"Forbidden. This isn't the page you're looking for. Move along.",
"Access forbidden. The server has trust issues. Can you blame it?",
"Permission denied. The server said 'absolutely not' in seventeen languages.",
"Forbidden territory. Even VPNs can't save you now.",
"This area is off-limits. The server drew a line. You crossed it.",
"Access forbidden. The server is protecting you from yourself.",
"Permission denied. The server would rather die than show you this.",
"Forbidden. This page has restraining orders against browsers like yours.",
"Access denied. The server is gatekeeping. Deal with it.",
"This content is forbidden. The server has standards, unlike some people."
],
404: [
"Page not found. It's gone. Vanished. Poof. Like my motivation on Monday.",
"The page you seek does not exist in this dimension. Try another reality.",
"This page doesn't exist. Neither do my regrets about creating this message.",
"The server searched everywhere. Even checked under the couch.",
"Page not found. It left. Said it needed to find itself. We're all very supportive.",
"The page you're looking for has achieved enlightenment and transcended the web.",
"This page doesn't exist. It's not you, it's me. Actually, it's definitely you.",
"The server even checked the last place you'd look. Still nothing.",
"Page not found. It's in witness protection. The server knows where it is but won't tell.",
"The page escaped. Last seen heading toward the exit. We're not chasing it.",
"This page doesn't exist. The server looked twice. Still gone. Accept it.",
"The page ran away to join the circus. Good for it."
],
405: [
"Method not allowed. The server rejected your approach. Try a different strategy.",
"HTTP method denied. The server is picky about how you ask questions.",
"Method not allowed. The server prefers a more elegant approach.",
"This method isn't allowed here. The server has strict rules about manners.",
"Method rejected. The server wants you to ask nicely next time.",
"HTTP method not allowed. The server is traditional. Write a letter instead."
],
408: [
"Request timeout. You took too long. The server has moved on with its life.",
"Timeout. The server waited. And waited. And got tired of waiting.",
"Request timeout. The server gave up. You should probably do the same.",
"Too slow. The server timed out waiting for you to make up your mind.",
"Request timeout. The server has better things to do than wait for your request.",
"Timeout. The server lost interest. Can you blame it?"
],
429: [
"Slow down, turbo. The server isn't impressed by your enthusiasm.",
"Rate limit exceeded. You've been greedy. The server noticed.",
"The server is overwhelmed. By you. Specifically.",
"Rate limit. You're making too many requests. The server needs a break from you.",
"The server is putting you in timeout. Think about what you've done.",
"Rate limit exceeded. The server is judging your lack of patience.",
"Slow down. You're making too many requests. The server has trust issues now.",
"Rate limit exceeded. The server says 'no more'. It's not negotiable."
],
500: [
"We may or may not have broken something. Oops.",
"Something went wrong. We're pretending it's not our fault.",
"The server had a moment. It happens. Usually on Fridays.",
"The hamsters powering the server need a coffee break.",
"Something broke. The server is working on it. Or sleeping. Hard to tell.",
"The server made a mistake. We're all human. Well, the server isn't, but you know.",
"The server tried its best. Its best wasn't good enough today.",
"Something crashed. Probably our hopes and dreams.",
"The server is having an existential crisis. Give it a moment.",
"The server regrets to inform you that it regrets.",
"Something went wrong. The server is embarrassed. Please look away.",
"The server encountered an error while encountering an error. Meta."
],
502: [
"The upstream server is having a bad day. Join the club.",
"The server talked to another server. They're not speaking anymore.",
"The server reached out for help. The other server hung up.",
"The gateway is bad. The server would elaborate, but it's bad at explaining things.",
"The upstream server said 'no'. We're respecting its boundaries.",
"Two servers walked into a bar. Neither ordered anything useful.",
"The server called for backup. Backup didn't answer.",
"Communication failed between servers. Relationship status: it's complicated."
],
503: [
"The server is currently unavailable. Try again later. Or don't. Your choice.",
"The server is taking a mental health day.",
"The server is out of the office. It left a note. We can't read it.",
"The service is down. The server is using this time to reflect on its choices.",
"The server is temporarily unavailable. Permanently temporary.",
"The service is taking a break. Self-care is important, even for servers.",
"The server is busy. It's busy being unavailable.",
"The service is down for maintenance. Or questioning its purpose. Same thing."
],
504: [
"The server waited too long. It's done waiting.",
"The gateway timed out waiting for another server. Patience isn't infinite.",
"The server waited patiently. Then impatiently. Then gave up.",
"The gateway is having commitment issues. It won't wait forever.",
"The other server took too long. This server has places to be.",
"The gateway waited. And waited. Now it's leaving.",
"The server's patience expired before your request did.",
"Time's up. The gateway moved on. You should too."
]
};
const errorMessages = messages[errorCode] || [
`Error ${errorCode}. Something went wrong. The server is confused, and honestly, so are we.`
];
// Randomly select a message
const randomIndex = Math.floor(Math.random() * errorMessages.length);
return errorMessages[randomIndex];
}
assets/js/error-page.js
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// Error page script - loads error messages and updates the page
(function() {
const errorCode = parseInt(document.body.getAttribute('data-error-code') || '404', 10);
const script = document.createElement('script');
script.src = 'error-messages.js';
script.onload = function() {
const messageElement = document.getElementById('errorMessage');
if (messageElement && typeof getErrorMessage === 'function') {
messageElement.textContent = getErrorMessage(errorCode);
} else if (messageElement) {
// Fallback messages
const fallbacks = {
403: "Forbidden. This isn't the page you're looking for. Move along.",
404: "Page not found. It's gone. Vanished. Poof. Like my motivation on Monday.",
500: "Internal server error. We broke something. Oops."
};
messageElement.textContent = fallbacks[errorCode] || "Something went wrong.";
}
};
script.onerror = function() {
const messageElement = document.getElementById('errorMessage');
if (messageElement) {
const fallbacks = {
403: "Forbidden. This isn't the page you're looking for. Move along.",
404: "Page not found. It's gone. Vanished. Poof. Like my motivation on Monday.",
500: "Internal server error. We broke something. Oops."
};
messageElement.textContent = fallbacks[errorCode] || "Something went wrong.";
}
};
document.head.appendChild(script);
})();
assets/js/main.js
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// Figure out what time-based lie to tell visitors about their life choices
const determineGreet = hours => {
document.getElementById("greeting").innerText = `It's ${hours < 12 ? "Morning and Currently" : hours < 18 ? "Afternoon and Currently" : "Evening and Currently"}`;
};
// Show the relentless march of time
function displayTime(time) {
document.getElementById("time").innerHTML = time;
}
// Passive-aggressively suggest blog reading at 2-hour intervals (we're persistent, not pushy)
const determineBlogMessage = hours => {
let message;
if (hours >= 0 && hours < 2) {
message = "Late night reading? Check out my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 2 && hours < 4) {
message = "Insomniac hours? Peruse my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 4 && hours < 6) {
message = "Early bird? Catch up on my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 6 && hours < 8) {
message = "Coffee and a <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>?";
} else if (hours >= 8 && hours < 10) {
message = "Morning routine? Add my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a> to it";
} else if (hours >= 10 && hours < 12) {
message = "Mid-morning break? Read my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 12 && hours < 14) {
message = "Lunch break? Browse my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 14 && hours < 16) {
message = "Afternoon slump? Perk up with my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 16 && hours < 18) {
message = "It's a good time to read my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 18 && hours < 20) {
message = "Get comfy and read my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else if (hours >= 20 && hours < 22) {
message = "Wind down with my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
} else {
message = "Nightcap? End your day with my <a href='blog/index.html' class='blog-link'>Blog</a>";
}
document.getElementById("blogMessage").innerHTML = message;
};
// Tick tock, tick tock - time marches on regardless of your location
setInterval(function () {
const today = new Date();
const time = today.toLocaleTimeString('en-US', {
hour: '2-digit',
minute: '2-digit',
hour12: false
});
displayTime(time);
}, 1000);
// Fetch the freshest posts to lure readers into the content trap
async function loadRecentPosts() {
try {
const response = await fetch('blog/api/posts.php');
const posts = await response.json();
const recentPostsContainer = document.getElementById("recentPosts");
// Only the top 3 - we're not monsters showing everything at once
const recentPosts = posts.slice(0, 3);
recentPosts.forEach(post => {
const postLink = document.createElement('a');
postLink.href = `blog/post.html?id=${post.id}`;
postLink.textContent = `${post.date} - ${post.title}`;
recentPostsContainer.appendChild(postLink);
});
} catch (error) {
console.error('Error loading blog posts:', error);
// Silence is golden when things break
}
}
// Boot up the whole circus when the page loads
window.addEventListener('load', (event) => {
const today = new Date();
const time = today.toLocaleTimeString('en-US', {
hour: '2-digit',
minute: '2-digit',
hour12: false
});
// Your timezone, your problem - we just display what your browser tells us
const localHours = today.getHours();
determineGreet(localHours);
determineBlogMessage(localHours);
displayTime(time);
loadRecentPosts();
// updateWeather(); // Weather is overrated anyway
});
// Keep harassing visitors about the blog every 60 seconds
setInterval(function () {
const today = new Date();
const localHours = today.getHours();
determineBlogMessage(localHours);
}, 60000);
assets/js/theme-init.js
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// Apply theme immediately to prevent flash
(function() {
const theme = localStorage.getItem('theme') ||
(window.matchMedia && window.matchMedia('(prefers-color-scheme: dark)').matches ? 'dark' : 'light');
document.documentElement.setAttribute('data-theme', theme);
})();
assets/js/theme.js
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// Theme system - helping visitors avoid retinal damage since 2024
(function() {
'use strict';
const html = document.documentElement;
function getStoredTheme() {
// Check everywhere for theme preferences - we're thorough like that
if (typeof localStorage !== 'undefined') {
const stored = localStorage.getItem('theme');
if (stored === 'dark' || stored === 'light') {
return stored;
}
}
const cookies = document.cookie.split(';');
for (let cookie of cookies) {
const [name, value] = cookie.trim().split('=');
if (name === 'simple_style' && (value === 'dark' || value === 'light')) {
return value;
}
if (name === 'theme' && (value === 'dark' || value === 'light')) {
return value;
}
}
// When in doubt, trust the OS (they know what they're doing... probably)
if (window.matchMedia && window.matchMedia('(prefers-color-scheme: dark)').matches) {
return 'dark';
}
return 'light';
}
function setThemeEverywhere(theme) {
// Scatter theme preferences like seeds in the wind - something's gotta stick
const cookieOptions = `path=/; max-age=${60 * 60 * 24 * 365 * 5}; SameSite=Lax`;
// localStorage for the modern folks
if (typeof localStorage !== 'undefined') {
localStorage.setItem('theme', theme);
}
// Cookies for SearXNG (it's picky about naming conventions)
document.cookie = `simple_style=${theme}; ${cookieOptions}`;
// More cookies - redundancy is our middle name
document.cookie = `theme=${theme}; ${cookieOptions}`;
// Data attribute for immediate gratification
html.setAttribute('data-theme', theme);
// Don't forget the icon - visual feedback matters
updateToggleIcon(theme);
}
function getTheme() {
return getStoredTheme();
}
function setTheme(theme) {
setThemeEverywhere(theme);
}
function updateToggleIcon(theme) {
const themeToggle = document.getElementById('themeToggle');
if (themeToggle) {
const moonIcon = themeToggle.querySelector('.theme-icon-moon');
const sunIcon = themeToggle.querySelector('.theme-icon-sun');
if (moonIcon && sunIcon) {
if (theme === 'dark') {
moonIcon.style.display = 'none';
sunIcon.style.display = 'block';
} else {
moonIcon.style.display = 'block';
sunIcon.style.display = 'none';
}
}
}
}
function toggleTheme() {
const currentTheme = html.getAttribute('data-theme') || getTheme();
const newTheme = currentTheme === 'dark' ? 'light' : 'dark';
setTheme(newTheme);
}
function initTheme() {
const theme = getTheme();
setTheme(theme);
const themeToggle = document.getElementById('themeToggle');
if (themeToggle) {
themeToggle.removeEventListener('click', toggleTheme); // No double-clicking shenanigans
themeToggle.addEventListener('click', toggleTheme);
}
}
// Dance the cookie shuffle before searching - SearXNG has opinions
const searchForm = document.getElementById('search');
if (searchForm) {
searchForm.addEventListener('submit', function(e) {
const theme = getTheme();
// Out with the old cookie
document.cookie = 'theme=; path=/; max-age=0; SameSite=Lax';
// In with SearXNG's preferred flavor
const cookieOptions = `path=/; max-age=${60 * 60 * 24 * 365 * 5}; SameSite=Lax`;
document.cookie = `simple_style=${theme}; ${cookieOptions}`;
});
}
// Get this party started
if (document.readyState === 'loading') {
document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', initTheme);
} else {
initTheme();
}
// Listen for OS theme changes - stay responsive to user preferences
if (window.matchMedia) {
const mediaQuery = window.matchMedia('(prefers-color-scheme: dark)');
if (mediaQuery.addEventListener) {
mediaQuery.addEventListener('change', function(e) {
// Only auto-switch if they haven't explicitly chosen - consent matters
if (!localStorage.getItem('theme') && !document.cookie.includes('simple_style') && !document.cookie.includes('theme=')) {
setTheme(e.matches ? 'dark' : 'light');
}
});
}
}
})();